The Crazy Lady

You know how you see or hear of those eccentric old ladies with rollers in their hair, house coats always on, pacing and ranting. Well, that was me the other day.

We're staying at friends' house while they're out of town and it just happens to be down the street from my parent's place. So, I decided to let my boys walk to Grandma's to pick up their Veggie Tale's movie. It'll be good for them, I thought. Connor is five and Benen is almost four.

The tricky thing was crossing the street. We're on the corner and my parents are across the street on the other side, across the road on the next block and about five houses down. So while I can see their house from here, my boys had to cross two streets, which turned out to be the cause of disaster.

Things started out fine until they reached the corner. They stopped and looked both ways, held hands and started across the road. Only, they went diagonal - J-walking. I was standing on the front step shouting at them to go straight. I could see it click in with Connor and he began to swerve his course, dragging his younger brother with him. He made this wide loop, never quite reaching the other sidewalk and then continued to the other side. I was holding my breath and praying no vehicles would happen along during my children's swaying, winding run. Did I mention they were running?

As they neared the other side safe and sound, I started to breathe again when Benen, being dragged along, tripped and fell in the mud. He got up and stood on the street corner, mud dripping off his hand and crying to wake the dead. Connor looked at him, but he was on a mission and took off running for Grandma's, leaving Benen deserted on the corner, hurt and heartbroken.

I realized that I was going to have to go get him. Here's where it gets interesting. I was wearing a navy blue satin nightie that came to mid-thigh over a pair of baggy grey comfy pants. It was mid morning and I hadn't showered yet. This means my hair, which I had cut short, was sticking out in a hundred different wavy directions. Think mad-scientist and you'd be close. Also, I didn't want to stand on the step indecent, so I had wrapped around myself a yellow towel that has shoulder straps and velcros shut in the front. And on my feet I was wearing my green fuzzy slippers. Yup. I was a fright!

But, being the devoted loving mother that I am, I swallowed my pride and started down the grass to the street corner where I beckoned my screaming child to come to me. I was praying that none of the neighbors were watching and that no vehicles would venture down our block. Benen looked both ways (good boy) and then shook his head. Still sobbing he choked out, "truck." I looked back over my shoulder and sure enough there was a huge dump truck ambling down our street. The temperature outside rose a few degrees, I'm sure.

The driver, being a polite observant woman, stopped to let my child cross in front. So, another J-walking incident later, I had Benen safe by the clean hand and I led him inside where I washed the mud off his hand and foot.

Connor made it back safe, movie in hand. Benen was distraught that he didn't get to go to Grandma's. And me? I put the movie on to entertain them and decided that before I shove them from the nest again, I better teach them how to cross the street.