Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I Hate This

They said it would get easier.

They said I would get used to it.

They said I would love it.

They said it's great.

They are SO wrong!

I hate school. Every day Connor walks out the door I feel like a huge hand reaches into my chest and squeezes until all the breath has left my body. I watch from my living room window, feeling like the worst mom for making him walk all the way to school. A block and a half. Through all the snow. Up hill both ways.

My stomach does sommersaults and crunches until 3:15 when I again glue myself to the window and count every step until he is safely inside the house. Yes, I can see him from my window. Yes, I stand there and watch him walk the whole way home. And yes, I have gotten out my hubby's binoculars and watched him like the crazy person I am. Holding my breath while I scan the streets for any suspicious looking vehicles.

So far I haven't been reported and no police have shown up on my doorstep questioning me about my behavior and my whereabouts the day before.

I was told it would get easier, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Instead I am having horrible nightmares of next fall when I will have to endure this EVERY DAY! With Benen tagging along every second day. Oy!

Hang on. There's a suspicious looking man walking by outside. Yes, he's walking a dog, but that could be his cover. He's stopping to stare at the house two doors down. Hmmm. His face is covered and I can't get a good look. Disguise? Or the fact it's below zero with a wind chill that would freeze your eyes in their sockets?

He's moving on .... passing my window .... don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact .... he's gone. For now.

Hey, I read a lot of suspense/mystery. I know what can happen.

Oooh, I think I need some Tums. And I'm gonna put the local PD on my speed dial. You can never be too prepared.

BTW, be on the lookout for a man walking a tiny tan-and-white pomeranian. Tallish, thin, wearing jeans and a winter coat, face mostly covered and wearing brown leather work gloves. I'm just saying, is all.


Marianne Arkins said...

And, that's one of the joys of homeschooling!!


And you made me LOL about the guy walking by. **snort**

Shauna said...

Marianne - I wish I had the patience for homeschooling. I can barely manage 15 minutes a day for music practice. :-) I once thought our neighbors were part of the mob. It's always who you least expect. ;-)

Jenster said...

Aw, Shauna. Someday it will be easier. Like when they're in highschool. :o)

The Daily "B" said...

Okay, I think I've seen that man with the tan-and-white pomeranian... hmm...lol

I can only imagine what its like to send off your kid, alone to school...

BTW here's a good site that may be come in handy... www.spy-tools-directory.com

Shauna said...

Jenster - So just 13 years to go. ;-)

Deb - ROTFLOL! Thanks for the site. I'm gonna check it out!

Shauna said...

Jenster - You were right. He went off to school today and, although my heart tugged, I was so proud to see his newfound confidence as he ran without looking back. 'Course it was his show-and-tell day. ;-)

Deb - I checked out that sight! They have anti-terrorist stuff. It's too WILD! They even have those guns where you can look around corners! Brought back that long dormant desire to be a CIA operative. Think of all the cool gadgets! Ahhh... think Lara Croft meets James Bond. ;-)

Sing4joy said...

Ah Shauna,
You tugged on my heart strings while making me cry with laughter! Great post! I never had that gut yuck when the last of ours went off to kindergarten, I took a hot bath and then went to the grocery store. alone. not one single snack or toy ended up in the basket. Haven't looked back since!

Shauna said...

S4J - Your comment gives me hope. Actually my BFF and I have plans to meet for cappucinos when our youngests head off for school. In about 3 years. I'm sure I'll cry in my cup, but whether they'll be tears of sorrow or tears of joy ... *shrug*

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs! :o)

(You have to have a lot patience to homeschool? Hmm... I didn't get that memo... )

Becky said...

Was it the Pomeranian from Hades? Of course the guy walking that pomeranian would look more like Brutus from Popeye fame.

I love that you get your binoculars out and watch, lol!