Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Who's There?

The doorbell rang at 9:28 yesterday morning. WHAT?!

This does not happen. Should, in fact, never happen. I do NOT do surprise house calls. People dropping in without phoning will not receive the most sincere of welcomes. Oh, I might put on a smiley face, chat and seem all pleasant, but deep down I'm squirming.

Why, you ask? Because these kind of surprises inevitably happen when I'm unprepared. Morning, noon and night, they will always find me in my pajamas and housecoat, hair like Medusa, face blotchy from lack of make-up and breathing potent coffee breath. My house will be a disaster, every available surface covered with discarded clothes and pajamas.

NOTE: Boys do not just take off their clothes. They rip them off, swing them around by a sleeve or leg and, once they have acquired enough speed, release them into "infinity and beyond." I know. I'm still looking for the matches to seven pairs of socks.

So now you understand the panic that hit when I heard the doorbell ring - without warning - while I was in a less-than-desireable state. Should I answer it? Ignore it? Sneak a peek out the window? Hide under the bed?

In a rare show of courage, I decided to brave the mockery and humiliation to self and extend some hospitality. I came down the stairs to discover my front door was open and I was looking through the glass of the screen door.

Imagine my shock at seeing my four-year-old standing on the other side of the glass, peering up at me.

In his winter boots, in the snow.

With no coat.

In -20 degrees.

14 comments:

Jen said...

LOL! I thought I was the only one who does not like 'drop in' visitors. I have been known to not answer the door before. Did it just the other day because I was just out of the shower and had wet hair.

I *wish* I could be like Samantha in Bewitched. Whenever the doorbell rang, she was always ready for it and had time to check her hair in the mirror hanging just inside the door before she answered it. Let's just say that is not happening any time soon at my house!

Shauna said...

Jen, it's nice to know there are others out there, too. ;-) It's funny you mentioned Bewitched. Just the other day, I was thinking how wonderful it would be if all I had to do was twitch my nose and everything would be perfect and in its place. Now that's housecleaning I could enjoy! LOL!

The Daily "B" said...

Oy! If I am not expecting the bell to ring, I stand silently, not moving so that the floor doesn't creak, and hope that the unwanted doorbell ringer leaves.

If they are a persitent doorbell ringer I peak out the little glass window in the door. Once I did this and looked right into the unwanted visitors eye as they were looking in.

Shauna said...

Deb, LOL! That would have "freaked my brains out," as Connor would say. (*wink at Becky)

Sing4joy said...

okay - 1.)that cartoon face is really freaky scary. I promise you I will never in this lifetime show up unannounced at your door.
2.)if people show up un-announced they lose the right to judge or complain - they must graciously accept what they find. Even if it is banana stuck to the bottom of their shoe as they are leaving. For Pete's sake - every one on the planet has a cell phone. Even 2nd graders.
3.)I SO was not expecting the little one to be on the other side of the door!
HILARIOUS.

His Girl said...

this was an awesome post.

just awesome.

i agreed.

i laughed.

i anticipated.

i was surprised.

i howled with laughter.

very, very well written!

Lisa said...

EEP!

AS for me, I hate when people come to my back door. This is usually what they do since it is closer to our driveway. It opens into the laundry room. You can probably feel my angst about that. ;o)

Shauna said...

S4J - Would you believe that my hair actually looks like that in the morning? Freaky scary is right.

His Girl - Thanks. I burst out laughing, too. Right after I gave him a big lecture about 'how he could freeze to death if he went outside without telling me' and then sent him downstairs.

Lisa - LOL! I understand. Our laundry room also happens to be my husband's after-work bathroom.

Becky said...

I LOVED this post, Shauna!

I don't DO drop-by's, either. (In my own home, or to other folks). I am a doorbell avoider. I usually go stand in my shower so I can tell them, "Sorry, I was in the shower" when they tell me they dropped by. ;0) How bad is that?

And the Bewitched fantasy? What woman doesn't wish for those powers?

LOL, Deb! That WOULD have freaked my brains out!

Katybug said...

I am SOOOOOO with you!!! I have a newish neighbor that likes to drop in. I think she has gotten the hint, because every time she's dropped by unannounced, I'm right in the middle of something. Fortunately, she never dropped by in the morning. These days this pregnancy has me so tired in the mornings that I'm back in bed as soon as my daughter is off to school. I've put everyone on alert to not call me or come by in the mornings, and they have responded well, thankfully!!! :-)

angela said...

On the rare occasions where I've cleaned the house, baked cookies and am actually dressed in something other than warm-up pants, I pray that somebody will drop by and get the impression that I'm always so on top of things. Never happens. In fact, I had a friend drop by once and when she saw me, she gave me a hug and frantically asked, "What's wrong?" I had to tell her that I was fine and that what she thought was my puffy-cried-my-eyes-out-all-night-long-face about was just my morning face.

I loved your warning about boys undressing, but I won't dare get you started on bathroom rituals.

Jenster said...

HEEHEEHEE!!! Great story telling, Shauna!! I was hooked!!

And I hate drop in surprise visitors, too! Doesn't your son know that??

Shauna said...

Becky - That's AWESOME! I'm gonna stand in my shower next time! LOL!

Katybug - I remember pregnancy. *shudder* But the blessing is worth it. I'm gonna pray you feel better. And I'm glad your neighbor took the hint. ;-)

Jenster - I think that's gonna be one of those "motherly" lessons I need to give him. "Never drop in on a woman unannounced." He's gotta learn. LOL!

Travis Erwin said...

My wife actually hid int eh bathroom once to avoid answering when one of our neighbors popped in.