Thursday, February 21, 2008

Oh, What a Night.

So. Last night I didn't get any sleep. Not. One. Wink. There is nothing more frustrating to me than laying in bed, desperate for sleep, watching the minutes tick away without being able to relax into blissful slumber.

I don't understand. Was it because I had just finished a book and couldn't get the characters off my mind? Or was it because of the full moon and lunar eclipse, as was suggested to me? Who's to say.

But here's what I learned. Misery really does love company. I woke my husband at 5:45 a.m. Why? Because I WAS AWAKE! And had been all night! Here's how it went.

"...And that's what it was like kissing Adrien."

The end. *Sigh.* What a great book.

Looks at the clock. 2:15 a.m.

Ooh, I'd better get to bed.

Climbs into bed at 2:30.

Okay, it's 2:30 and the boys will probably be up by around 7:00. No problem. That still leaves .... about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I can do this. Okay, just relax....deep breaths....don't think about the book. Must not think about the book......

Paris is so lovely and so romantic ..... hmmmm, he takes her in his arms, the love pouring out of his eyes and ...

Wait! Stop thinking about the book. Relax. Focus on relaxing. First your toes ..... that's right, deep breath, relax each toe .... sheesh, it is HOT in this bed. Why is the room so hot? Maybe I should check the thermostat. No. Wait. Stop. You're relaxing. Where was I? Oh right, relax toes....okay...... relax your right your left foot....breathe deep.... yes, that's it, now relax your calves..... hmm, my legs feel prickly. Ouch. The hairs on my legs are hurting. How is that even possible? Wow. They hurt just brushing the sheet. Oooh, they're itchy. Okay, don't think about it. Just forget it. You're supposed to be relaxing. Man it is HOT IN HERE! Okay, relax ....

My legs hurt. Maybe I should just get up and shave them. I'll feel better. Is it weird to shave your legs at ....

Sits up and checks the clock.

...3:02 in the morning? Okay, yes that is just too weird. You are NOT going to shave your legs at this time of night. The running water could wake the kids. And, it's just not right. Okay, stop thinking about this and just relax ....

Scratches legs.

I need to change position. My shoulder's numb and tingly.

Rolls over.

Okay, now just keep your mind blank. No more thinking about anything ......hmmmm.... that's better......yes ......... wait, relax your eye muscles ...... there you go ...... hmmmm.... deep breath ...... deep breath ..... deep breath ..... Why is he giving off so much heat?! Argh. Okay, no biggie .....

Kicks off blankets.

There that's better ..... relax...... deep breaths.......DARN IT! I'm COLD now!

Pulls blankets up and rolls away from the furnace.

I gotta pee.

Goes to the bathroom then climbs back in bed.

Dear God, please let me sleep! I need to sleep!! I got so much I gotta get done tomorrow. Bathrooms, laundry, planning music. You know I have three boys that are gonna wake up early in the morning.

Okay, pray for the boys. Yes, that'll help you relax. Put you right to sleep ....Hmmm....bless Connor ....and, um, what's his name? Right, Benen .... and...Oh it's no use. Might as well get up. Read the Bible.

Gets up, goes and sits in a chair and picks up the Bible, letting it fall open where ever it may.

Alright. Joshua ..... hmmm, good stuff ...... yup ......... I'm on verse 18? How did I get there? What did I just read? Boy, my eyes feel like they have sand in them.

Blinks twice.

Wow. There is, like, absolutely NO moisture in my eyes. Maybe if I blink really hard....nope. Didn't work. I'll try rubbing them.

Rubs viciously.

Huh. That's weird. They actually feel like two sandboxes in the middle of my head. Should I get the eye drops?

Looks at clock.

Nope. It's 3:58. No one puts eye drops in at this time of night. Wait! It's almost 4:00? In the morning?! That only leaves about ..... 3 hours of sleep left. Less, 'cause Chad's alarm is going to go off at 6:00. Oh, this is not good.

Okay, be positive, be positive. I should really clean the bathroom. I'm up anyway and that would be one less thing for tomorrow 'cause I'm gonna be waaaay too tired.

Nope. Crazy. You don't clean bathrooms at 4:00 a.m. Buuuut.... well.... okay, yeah I'm gonna do it.

Gets the cleaning supplies and scrubs the bathroom.

Phew! Done. Good. Now I can stop thinking about it. But I worked up a sweat and am too HOT! Gotta cool down. I'll read more of the Bible.

Sits in chair and reads more, though none of it sinks in. Finally crawls back into bed at 4:30 feeling exhausted.


Hears movement over the monitor.


Shuts off monitor.

Relax..... relax...... ahhhhh..... I wonder what it would be like to vacation in Paris. History, arcitecture, paintings, sculptures.... hmmm.... pastries, cheese, open markets....Wait. Stop. No more thinking. Relax.....oh man, I gotta pee again.

Goes to bathroom.

Okay.... not going to worry..... not going to look at clock..... hmmmm.....

Sits up and looks at the clock.


And that's when I woke Chad. Mostly to complain and get sympathy, but also to beg and plead with him to stay home from work. It is NOT my fault I couldn't sleep. I tried, really I did.

He couldn't stay home. Today was the most important day of the job he's running and he HAD to go. People to meet, things to plan, work to do.

He's working late.

I've got band practice.

I'm gonna go make another cappuccino.


Marianne Arkins said...

You cleaned the bathroom... at 4 a.m.... hmmm... yes, you are indeed an odd duck.

Should have shaved your legs. I HATE that feeling.

Bet you sleep tonight *G*.

Anonymous said...

I soooooo know what you are talking about. I shouldn't admit it, but sometimes, just sometimes I have to take a Tylenol because my legs can keep me awake!. They want to twitch and move - can't wake up hubby!!. Also, I pray for my kids when I can't sleep too - we are way toooooo much alike. I am sure I raised my kids on my knees. God will give you the strength to make it through this day, although you may nod off for parts of it, until thoughts of Paris reawaken you - ha, ha, ha

His Girl said...

that was all the way hysterical!

I am a FABULOUS sleeper, but every now and again, I have the exact same sort of conversations in my head. It's torture.

Realizing in advance how nerdy I sound, but that is precisely why I read your blog... very very very well written! beautifully funny!

Shauna said...

Marianne - I should probably just accept my oddness. ;-) And seriously, how is it that the actual hair folicles hurt on my legs when the hair is of a certain length and wirey-ness??

Anon - Thanks for the comment. My hubby suggested - at 5:45 when I woke him to complain - that perhaps I should get some sleeping pills. :-) I told him my concern is that I'll take one, won't hear the kids and they'll be unable to wake me. His reply - "It would wear off given time." Yeah.

His Girl - Thank you, thank you, thank you! Sooooo happy to know I'm not the only one who carries on conversations like this. I want to shut it off, I try VERY HARD to shut it off, but it just won't quit! And thanks for the sweet stuff you said. I tried to proof read, but I'm seriously sleep deprived.

Anonymous said...

Been there. Done that. Any chance you'll get a nap? :o)

Sing4joy said...

Dearest Shauna!
You describe many, many of my nights. Only somehow I was able to laugh about your night. Hysterically laugh. Nearly peed myself. And I would have if I hadn't gotten up several times to use the bathroom too! I totally agreed with your logic about taking care of the bathroom chore. And no, there is nothing wrong with shaving your legs in the middle of the night. Tip: try keeping some Lavendar linen spray next to your bed and spray it on your pillowcase if you're having a particularly difficult time falling asleep. Chamomile tea also can be helpful, and maybe a notepad or journal next to your bed to jot your thoughts onto paper. Sometimes if I'm really desperate I envision a computer screen and 'type' the word sleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleepsleep...I suppose it's the equivalent of counting sheep with a wierd blogger twist.
*one girl's sleepless night is another girl's entertainment*

Becky said...

I think it was that book. I LOVED that book. I stayed up way late finishing that book, too. I was very tired the next day. Took a nap with Judah, and got nothing by way of household chores done the whole next day.

So, maybe you can be proud of yourself that at least you got something worthwhile accomplished? ;o)

Jenster said...

Hahahahaha!!! I'm not laughing at you. I'm really not. I comiserate with you on the not sleeping thing. It is miserable - watching the clock, figuring out how many more hours you have to sleep, being hot, then cold, etc. But you told it great! :o)

Hope you sleep great tonight!

airingon said...

You never cease to make me laugh.
Maybe it's because I can relate to so much of what you say.

Nothing worse than laying there and trying to hurry yourself to sleep because morning is only a couple of hours away and you'll know how tired your going to be. I even can't sleep on nights when I have to be up early cause I'm fretting of how tired I'll be and will I be able to wake up. Pathetic, I know.

There is nothing wrong with getting housework done at anytime of the day or night. When you kids were little I did my best cleaning between 11:00 and 2:30 at night.

Jen said...

I can sympathize. I have a night like yours once in a while and the next day is always a bad one. Hope yours was a *good* one!

Becky said...

Hey, girl...go check your e-mail at Dee's. I have a question for you.

Katybug said...

OMW, I HATE NIGHTS LIKE THAT!!! You have my utmost sympathies. I'm with Becky...I think it was THAT book. Looooooooooved Adrien...!!!! :-)

Katybug said...

One more thing: you've been tagged! Go to my blog to check it out!

The Daily "B" said...

I love Adrien too! Wasn't it worth it though? lol

I drugged up on NyQuil last night and woke myself up growling! Hahahaha! I am in serious need of some sleep, I feel ya! or felt ya... hmm

Shauna said...

LOL!! You ladies are TOOO funny! I do kinda think it had a little something to do with all the sighing I was doing over Adrien!

I'm still woefully behind in my sleep and Chad's work hours kept him away from home all weekend and late every night. I'm tired. Bone tired. And sick.