Randomness

Quotable Quotes by Connor

"Dad, you gotta start livin' it and stop sweatin' it." No idea where this came from.

"Mom, this will freak your brains out." Talking about a plastic toy bug.

"Mom, you feel like stuffing." Ouch! Weight Watchers - where do I sign up?

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Guy Stuff

This video had my husband doubled over in laughter. He watched it five times in a row before he made me sit down and view it. Still he laughed.

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Just Give it To Me

I'm sure some of you have already seen this music video by Jason Mraz. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song. It totally sucks that he doesn't have it recorded on any of his albums! Come ON! What's he trying to do? It feels a little like musical foreplay. Like he's just toying with us. Just give it to me already! I want this song on my iTunes, on my iPod! He's already made it a hit on YouTube. Check it out, if you haven't already. Oh, and somebody pointed out that he's playing with some kind of sling or cast on one arm. Amazing!

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The Way to His Heart

I have found the way to my son's heart. Not so surprisingly, it isn't in the pizza I slave over or the owies I kiss better. Nope. It's much simpler, more basic than that. Here's how the conversation went.

"Hey, bud. How was your day at school?"

"Pretty good. Well, this one thing happened."

"Oh? What?"

"Well, two of my friends started fighting with the older kids on the hill. I decided to just go find other friends to play with because I knew it was wrong."

Insert proud mommy moment here.

"That's good. You can still be their friend, but I'm glad you walked away."

"Yeah. Hey, you know my friend, Josh, can make fake farting sounds. Like, it sounds like he farts, but it's not real."

Switching tracks. "Oh, how does he do that?"

"I'm not really sure. Just kinda like ..." and he tries to make a fart sound with his mouth and throat.

"Hmmm. Like this?" And I show him my special abilities.

"Wow!" His eyes go saucer round and fill with hero worship. Suddenly I'm cool and I'm Super Mom "How'd you DO that?"

So, I showed him. And became #1 Mom in his eyes. To think it was so simple all along.

Crazy Conversations

** A conversation with Benen during supper.

Benen: Mom, you and I are kinda the same.
Me: How's that?
Benen: Well, your skin is kinda peach and look, my skin is peach.
Me: You're right. We are the same.
Chad: Benen, what color is my skin?
Benen: Well .... it's .... it's mostly just hairy.
Chad (trying not to laugh): Oh. I guess it is.

Benen: See this? (Holds up his arm and squints with one eye) I've got some little hairs, too.

Chad (looking closely): Yup.
Benen: Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna be big and hairy like you.


** A conversation with Chad while watching a movie.

Me: Oh, you have the subtitles on. Good idea.
Chad: That's me. Smartest guy in the world.
Me: You are. You married me.
Chad (slight hesitation): Really not that smart.

Chad claims he wasn't referring to my last comment when he said that, but I'm not letting him live it down.

The Things We Do

I just poked my husband's shoulder. "Do you think I'm crazy?" Dangerous question.

His response was a less than intelligent, "hrmphs."

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Hmm? Um-um."

"Would you think I'm crazy if I told you I just put a pizza in the oven?"

"Whah? Yes."

That's right. It's midnight and I just popped a pizza in the oven.

I was busy making my son's lunch when I had, what I like to call, a Good Mom Moment.

My boys have a food sensitivity to gluten which means my kindergartner can't take sandwiches like other kids his age. Usually I fill his lunch with some type of meat (tuna, chicken) and cheese and crackers along with other goodies.

For some reason I was struck with that sense of motherly awe. You know, the one that makes you well up with emotion and think, I would do anything for this child of mine. I would give my life for him. And since there's no impending doom to rescue him from, I did the next best thing. I made him pizza. At midnight.

No, I did not make my own crust. You can buy these gluten-free ones from the local health food store for an exorbitant price. I had one sitting in my freezer. I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy.

So now I'm feeling warm and fuzzy and like a pretty darned good mother, if I do say so myself.

Hang on - Whew! Got busy typing and nearly burnt the pizza.

So now I'll be up until 1:00 a.m. waiting for it to cool. But that's okay. His smile will be worth the lost hours of sleep.

Random

Okay, here's the thing. I've been trying to find time to blog, but this week has been a write off. I finally decided to sit my butt down in a chair with my laptop and type until something came to mind. I really should be cleaning my house (we have company coming tonight) but I've been putting it off. No surprise there. So, instead of a well, or semi-well, thought out post, you're getting the crazy thoughts that pop into my head. Let's see.....

*Yesterday, my husband came home from work at 8:00 a.m. just to start my van for me. Isn't that sweet? He knew I was busy trying to get all three kids out the door, so he drove all the way across town to warm up my vehicle. And he stopped by Tim Hortons on the way and brought me a coffee and breakfast sandwich. I have never felt so loved.

*I'm leading some carol singing at our church banquet tonight. I haven't sung in a month and I'm woefully out of practice. Simon Cowell would laugh me off the stage. Oh, wait. He doesn't laugh.

*Connor's important questions:
Mom, what's Santa's other name?
Mom, do you feel like you're losing your mind?
Mom, how do you know everything?

*My son is special. I know every parent says that, but I can say it with a certain assurance that he is one-of-a-kind. I'm sure the teacher has never before seen anyone like him. He's intense. When he focuses on something, it's 100%. And he's obsessed with superheroes. Obsessed. He actually brought home an empty Kleenex box from school the other day because it had a picture of Venom on it. I can only imagine the conversation that took place:

"Teacher, that Kleenex box has venom on it!"
"Yes, Connor, I know."
"Wow." A pause. "I wish I had a box like that."
"It's just a Kleenex box."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"We're going to use the Kleenexes."
"Yeah, but what about when all the Kleenexes are gone?"
"I'm going to put it in the recycle bin."
"What's 'recycle' mean."

"It's where you put all your cardboard and plastic containers into a box so they can be taken to a place where they're made into new things. It helps save the environment."

"Oh. Well, I could use that box."
"But I need the Kleenexes."
"I mean after they're gone. I could take that box home and use it."
"Connor, I don't think you need-"
"But it's cool. It has Venom on it."
"I know, but I don't think your mom-"
"She won't mind. She knows I like superheroes."
A puzzled expression. A sigh. "Oh, alright."

*The thing that makes me feel most child-like is my love of candy rockets. Those yummy, circular candies that come packaged in rows and wrapped in plastic. They come out in mass quantities around Halloween. I'm hopelessly addicted.

*My hair is at that stage. Too short to do much with, too long to style properly. Ugh. I'm feeling shaggy and, to use Becky's word, frumpy.

Well, that's it. The house cleaning is calling my name. Or rather, Chad is calling my name and asking me what needs to be done. So I better go clear a path to the spare bed so my company has a place to sleep.

I'm Back

I am officially back. I'm home; I'm happy; I'm cold. I thought I was ready for cooler temperatures after all the heat, but I've changed my mind.

We made it back safe though there were times I wasn't sure I'd live to see my children again. I have all the pictures on my computer, but they're in serious need of some doctoring. I am no photographer as evidenced by my sad, pathetic attempts to capture our adventures. I'm not kidding. Three hundred and fifty-four pictures with just over half turning out. Oh well. At least I'll have some memories, albeit blurring ones.

So, tonight I plan to work on them and I should have some to share with you in a day or two. In the meantime, here are some precious moments since our return:

Chad: "Benen, what am I going to do with you?"
Benen: "Ohhh...just put me to bed."

Connor: "Mom, I'm glad you and dad are home. I forgot what you looked like."

Connor: "Mom, I think maybe next time you go to Costa Rrrica (he tries to roll his r's) you should take us with you."

Home Sweet Cold Home!

Fun in the Sun

Hey everyone! Yes, I'm actually blogging from the resort in Costa Rica. Why you ask? Because my hubby is sick in bed. A little combination of too much sun and not enough sunscreen. He's taking a minute to enjoy the dark, air-conditioned room and I'm having fun trying to type on a Spanish computer keyboard. Did you know that things are moved around? Buttons are not where I'm expecting them to be and I can get all kinds of cool accent marks. Here are a few:

Ñ Ç ´ ` ¿ ¡

It's an experience for sure.

Anyways, I don't have much time but I've taken a ton of photos and will have some edited and ready to post shortly after I get back. So far we have drove through the mountains, been to the carribbean coast, swam in the ocean, walked/horseback rode through unsettled rainforest, experienced enormous ocean waves up close and personal, seen a volcano (mostly), eaten a variety of yummy new dishes, relaxed in the hotsprings and so much more. Now we are at the resort - Barcelo Playa Tambor, for those interested in Googling it - and are enjoying being catered to. All you can eat, drink and do. Tomorrow we are planning to try some of the activities which include water kayaking. We'll see how that goes.

Well, I've gotta head back to the room and wake up my hubby. We're planning to take in the live show tonight. Later!

'T' minus 1:28 minutes

We're on the countdown and will be leaving in little over an hour and, naturally, I had to squeeze one last blog post in before we go. I will, after all, be forced to survive without my computer for twelve whole days. However, when you look at it this way - crystal blue water, warm sandy beaches, smokin' hot husband - I'm sure I'll find plenty to fill my time.

I can't wait to get away and enjoy some time relaxing with my hubby. But the nausea hit yesterday. It finally dawned on me, I mean really smacked me upside the head, that I will be leaving my children, my babies, for almost two weeks! I'm finding it hard to catch my breath at the mere thought of it. Anxiety attacks. They suck.

Moving on (since my breakfast is trying to make a reappearance) here are some things that have made me smile and laugh today.

*Benen was watching his daddy get ready for the day and inquired, "Daddy, what are those brown dots on your back?"

"They're moles."

"Ohhhh....like you were bitten by moles."

*Benen (talking about why Spiderman is better than Doc Oc and the Green Goblin), "He can be-feet them."

*Benen - "Dad, you're Superman 'cause you can lift the couch!"


*Benen - "Grandma, look at my arms. I'm gettin' hair."

Grandma - "Wow. Pretty soon you'll have as much hair as the dog."

Benen - "Yeah." Big pause, "And maybe even as much as daddy!"

Now I really have to go. Have a great couple of weeks and I'll 'see' you all when I get back!

She Said, He Said

She said, "Honey, I can't wait to go on vacation with you. We'll be like honeymooners again."

He said, "Not really."

***

She said, "I want to hold hands and walk down narrow streets filled with carts of goods and assorted treasures."

He said, "Sure, I'll hold your hand."

***

She said, "I want romantic nights under a star-filled sky."

He said, "Have fun. I'll be in bed."

***

She said, "What?!"

He said, "What? There's bugs and spiders and lizards."

*This was a real conversation between real people. No actors were used in the telling of this tale. No names were used to protect the not-so-innocent, but I'm sure you can guess the participants of this scene.*

Backhands & Scoops

I received a backhanded compliment the other day. I was talking with a young lady from one of the high schools here and, during the course of our chit-chat, it came up that I had a husband and kids. She looked at me strangely and asked, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-seven."

"Oh. You don't seem that old."

Ouch. I didn't realize 27 was that old. On the other hand, I'm flattered that I seem....young? Younger? *shrug*

So, here's the latest scoop:

CHAD...
is upset about the picture I posted of him here. He says it makes him look like he's....not playing with a full deck? A few bricks short of a load? Not the sharpest tool in the shed? You pick one. To be honest, I agree; it's not his best photo.

CONNOR...
is trying to convince me to pack up all three of them and drive to the toy store so he can buy a present for his friend's birthday. Um, no.

BENEN...
made this brilliant observation: "When you poop, it looks like you have a tail."

KOLTEN...
picked a piece of cheese over a brownie! Who's kid is this anyways?! And where did I go wrong?!

ME...
I'm counting down the days 'til hubby and I leave for Costa Rica. No diapers, no demands, no sharing my food, NO COMMITMENTS! I'll fly away, oh glory.........

Random

Okay, I have nothing new and fresh, so I'm just gonna ramble on and see what comes to mind. If you're looking for deep insight or a refreshing outlook, this blog may not be for you. I don't claim to be a deep thinker or philosopher. Sometimes my most contemplative thought is what will get the poop smell off my hands. Seriously. Nasty. Diaper.

*Ever notice how, when you have a big family get together and there isn't enough room in the kitchen to seat everyone, it's always the men who go downstairs or to the rec room and the women get stuck eating with fifteen demanding little mouths. The men get to enjoy a hot meal while we women are bombarded with sticky fingers, juice spills, hungry bellies and empty cups. When we finally get to sit down to our now-cold meal, we hear a chorus of "dessert?"

*Lately, this is the conversation I have over and over with my boys.

Benen - "Mom. Connor kicked me off the couch."
Connor - "It was an accident."
Benen - "Nuh-uh. Purpose."
Connor - "Accident."
Me - "Okay, Benen. So Connor kicked you off the couch?"
Benen - "Yup. On purpose."
Connor - "No it was-"

Me - "Connor just a minute." I turn to Benen. "Connor kicked you?"

Benen - "Yes."
Me - "What did you do to deserve it?"

Benen - "Well, first I sat on him and then he kicked me and I fell right off the couch."

Me - "So you sat on him first?"
Benen - "Well, yeah."
Me - "Connor did Benen sit on you?"

Connor - "Yes, and I told him to get off but he wouldn't. So I kicked him off."

Me - "Benen, is that what happened?"
Benen - "Yup. And I fell off the couch."

*I'm on a diet. Well, technically I am not on a diet. My husband has decided to use this new eating plan and, since I couldn't persuade him out of it, I went with the old adage, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." So now I am eating mostly veggies and poultry with the occasional fish thrown in. And rice.

Travis over at One Word and I share a strong dislike and aversion to anything in the vegetable category. I've never met a vegetable I liked. Today is day one and so far I have thumbed my nose at the black coffee and added my 18% cream. I've dreamed of chocolate at least a dozen times and by accident (I swear it was an accident) popped half a Ritz cracker in my mouth.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. If the dreams turn to full-fledged fantasies, I may have to chuck the plan altogether. BTW, can you die from a chocolate craving?

*The shower tap in my bathroom is dripping. Actually "dripping" is too mild a word. What started as a slow "drip..........drip..........drip" increased to a "drip, drip, driiiiiiiiip, drip, drip, driiiiiiip." That was two weeks ago and now the tap just won't shut off. It runs at a constant "drrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip, drrrrrrriiiiiiiiiipppppp, drip, drrrrrriiiiiiip." You get the idea. Anyways, I called my hubby at work today and told him he needs to fix that tap tonight. It's driving me crazy listening to it all day. I've taken to shutting the bathroom door which cuts down on the sound, but with it being the hot water tap, my bathroom is actually warmer from the constant, running hot water. But tonight it gets fixed. Yeah!

***********Update****************

I wrote the above yesterday, so here's an update.

I'm off the diet. I lasted 15 hours. The thought of meat and veggies started making my stomach heave and life just didn't feel worth living if I couldn't enjoy my meals.

So today I've had coffee-with-cream for breakfast, eaten chicken, veggies and rice (bland, no butter or salt) for lunch, snacked on a donut in the afternoon with more coffee and had a McDonald's hamburger with a handful of fries for supper. I'm happy. I'm full. I'm feeling a little guilty.

I think it would be nice if my hubby had a wife who supported him......so RAH, RAH! You GO, Honey!!

Oh, and he fixed my bathroom tap. Yeah!

Happy Anniversary!!

WHOO-HOOO! 8 YEARS!! WE MADE IT!!! LOLOL!

Actually, the last 8 years have been amazing! And all because I'm married to the most wonderful man! He is living, breathing proof that God loves me. I'm dead serious. There's nothing this man doesn't do. And he's a hottie! The fact that he fell in love with me is evidence that miracles do still happen!

So, I love you, honey, more today than when we first fell in love! Each year just keeps getting better and I can't wait to spend the next 8, 10, 20, 30 years with you! Happy Anniversary!

Inside the heart of a man...

...lives unending love and loyalty to *insert sport of choice here*. For my DH it's hockey and, more specifically, the Edmonton Oilers. I have never seen such deep devotion and pride. It's humbling really.

This past week began the start of hockey trades. I don't understand a thing about it except that it keeps my husband glued to the computer for hours on end. And when he's not on the computer, he's watching TSN or Sportsnet....while listening to live feed on the Internet! I have had to chuckle at hubby running to the computer every few minutes for the most recent news. And it's updated every 2 to 3 minutes!

He has lived and breathed hockey for the last week. I find it amusing that it has so consumed his mind. We'll be in the van driving somewhere and he starts to mumble about deadlines, possible trades, caps etc. He turns to me and blurts out stats and numbers like I should understand this strange language he's speaking.

For the most part I've managed to subdue the laughter and I try to appear interested. But there have been times when the humour has gotten the best of me. It's just too funny! You would think the love of his life was coming to town he's that excited. But of course, I live with him. LOL! Oh, what passion!

But, I'm hardly one to talk. Nothing is more exciting to me than the release of a long awaited book by a most beloved author! :-) Okay, okay...and chocolate and coffee! I guess everyone has their weaknesses!

Dating Disaster

The other night hubby and I went on a date. I was looking forward to spending time together and was picturing a quiet, relaxing evening with dinner and conversation.

We arrived at the restaurant and were seated in a little nook tucked away from the rest of the diners. Yes, I thought, this is perfect. We ordered and began a nice conversation. I was just beginning to relax and was soaking up the atmosphere when the waitress came by and seated a couple next to us. Right next to us. As in, I-could-reach-over-and-touch-his-shoulder close. Yeah. Our conversation ground to an awkward halt.

I tried to make the best of it and continued a hushed, somewhat stilted conversation with my hubby while trying to ignore the increasing volume and colorful language coming from the people next to us. Our food arrived and we began our meal, my DH eating rather quickly. This wasn't unusual so I thought nothing of it until he leaned across the table and whispered, "let's get dessert somewhere else. I feel like ice cream."

What? I had told him I wanted this special chocolate-fudge-skor cake. I was confused. I quietly protested, but he was determined to leave. I began to feel a little miffed with him for rushing me through my meal. The minute the last particle of food left my plate, he requested the check and ushered me out the door. I was upset. Some romantic dinner, I thought.

As we walked out to our vehicle I turned to him and demanded to know what his problem was.

"Didn't you notice the people next to us?"

"Yes. What about them?"

"Didn't you hear what they were saying?" DH was looking at me rather incredulously.

"I heard their language, I was just ignoring it." I felt a bit bigger at my ability to overlook this wrong.

"It's not that," he said. "The lady must be on some medication. She was saying how she quit taking them because she'd rather live in her own reality than this reality. She was getting mad at the service and I was a little worried about what she would do." Hubby's looking at me intently. "And didn't you see them? They were making out right next to you!"

What?! I was feeling somewhat shocked.

"Uh, I didn't notice anything. What? Were they kissing?"

My DH just gave me a tolerant look complete with lifted eyebrows. Apparently they were doing a lot more than kissing! And only two feet from me! GROSS!

I felt myself deflate. Apparently my DH was having a hard time choking down his supper and I was upset about him rushing our evening. I felt a little sheepish.

So, anyone have a dating disaster you want to share?

The Matching Game!

A few months ago, I threw out every pair of white socks my husband owned.

What is it with men and white socks? They pull on a pair of nice white socks, slip their feet into steel-toed boots and off they go to work. In my husband's case his work is in the oilfield. So he tromps around all day in mud, muck, oil and gas. Then he comes home, takes off his boots and discards his dirty work clothes. Shirts, jeans, long-underwear (in winter) and, you guessed it, once-white socks. Now a dirty, brownish-grey with black electrical tape wrapped around the ankles which, not so surprisingly, leaves black rings around the socks that will NOT come off in the wash. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, read this post, question #2 and the answer.

So a while ago I had finally had it! I threw out every pair of white socks he owned and replaced them with sensible black ones...all the same style, size and brand. These ones won't show the dirt or tape stains and I patted myself on the back for this stroke of brilliance. I just hate folding out-of-the-dryer, not-so-white socks.

Then the other day, I was folding a basket of laundry and what did I find? A few stragglers. That's right. Somehow those few white socks managed to escape the Great White Massacre! Argh! Once again I found myself matching the stains on pairs of socks!

Quacks and Quirks

I had a good friend who recently told me I'm a bit of a "quack." I believe his exact words were, "There are some people who just have weird, obsessive personality quirks. Perhaps you should take some medication for that." I burst out laughing. But upon closer inspection, I have to agree. I think we all have certain "quirks" and peeves that make us...a little interesting. I know I do. And I've decided since "confession is good for the soul," to share a few of mine with you. So, here goes....

1. I can only watch t.v. and listen to the stereo if the volume is set to an even number (10, 12, 14 etc.). If it's on an odd number, it just feels all wrong. The only exception is I can listen to the stereo at 25. That's the factory default setting.

2. I don't like food being peeled directly into my sink. Not potatoes, onions, carrots. Peel it onto a paper towel and then roll it up and throw it into the garbage. Peeling it into the sink just causes more cleaning.

3. Toilet paper must be put on the roll with the end falling to the front. This just makes good sense to me. That way the starting end is always nicely draped and hanging over. None of this tucked behind nonsense.

4. My hubby informs me this is weird (personally, I think it's quite normal), but I like the bed to be perfectly neat before climbing in. It can stay a mess throughout the day, but I have to make it before going to bed. I don't like bunchy sheets.

5. When driving on the highway, the only right speed is 120 km/h. I know that's over the limit (110 km/h) and lots of people would chasten me on this bending (or breaking) of the law, but seriously, anything slower just makes me anxious and all knotted up inside.

And now, to tell one on my DH. He absolutely, cannot-even-for-a-second, stand it when someone chews with their mouth open or smacks their food. This includes my 5 and 3 year old. If he could get away with it, I think he'd start in on the baby, too. LOL! I've never seen him wound so tightly as at supper times. It's so bad, it's funny. He just looks at me and says, "are they like this during the day, or only when I'm home?" I just laugh and tell him I honestly don't notice.

So, fess up. What makes you "quack"?

Hallelujah! Let There Be Rejoicing!

MY HUBBY IS HOME!! This calls for celebration! And you know what? He's taking a couple days off work. So, um, you may not be hearing from me for the next 2 or 3 days. I'm going to enjoy him being at home for awhile. I was feeling all giddy this afternoon when he came home. I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face. Gracious! You'd think we were dating again, I was all a flutter. LOL!

And you know another great thing? I have my laptop back! Yipee! I'm sitting on the couch, writing this post while my baby chomps away on a newspaper flyer. I've told him "no" countless times, but by the sounds of his contented munching, you'd think ink and recycled paper was the finest cuisine. Oh, well. I'm sure it's the least of things he's sure to consume in his young years. So, I'm choosing to ignore him as he eats his after-supper snack.

However, there is a certain smell wafting my way. One I find I cannot ignore. Ah, babies...in one end and out the other. So, I'm off to be a mom and do mommy things. Have a great week.

Spring Has Sprung!

The weather here has been beautiful and it feels as if spring has finally arrived to stay. Hopefully, at least. And with the sun shining and snow almost melted, I felt it was time to perform a spring ritual. That's right, it was time for a pedicure! Warm, sunny days call for sandals, t-shirts, capris...and of course, nicely painted toes.

So, being too cheap to pay for one, I dug around beneath the bathroom sink and unearthed that bright, shiny red polish. First I filed, then scrubbed, then oiled, then lotioned and, finally, was ready for the finishing touch.

Now, I'm not a gymnast, so I can't bend and contort my body into the pretzel-like positions needed to get a nice, even coat on all ten piggies. So, can you guess what happened?

Yup. My DH painted them for me! Isn't that the sweetest thing?! As I was watching him, head bent over my feet focused on his task, I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Here was this big, man's man, who works outside all day in the oilfield....and he was painting my toes....red! For the first time I personally got the benefit of his perfectionist attitude when, after completing the second foot, he said, "I want to redo that toe. It's not quite right." And he did.

He is just the sweetest, most loving man ever! If that doesn't say "love" right there, I don't know what does!

Have you ever had anyone do something like this for you?

Annoying Habits

I have these annoying habits that drive my husband crazy. I'm sure all of us have certain things we do that make our loved ones roll their eyes, or sigh in exasperation. Here's a few of mine:

• 1. I tell him to turn off the headlights on the van when we reach our destination. This may not seem like a big deal except for the fact that the van beeps to remind you. I always wait until the dinging starts and then say, "honey, headlights." Drives him nuts!
• 2. I am a night person. I get most of my ambition during the late hours; 10:00 hits and I start thinking it's time to clean out the spare bedroom and re-organize our closet! My dear hubby, a confirmed morning person, is stuck vacuuming, scrubbing floors and rearranging furniture until the late, or very early hours!
• 3. I'm an obsessive planner. If I have a job to do, I like to plan it down to the very minutest detail. I know the best route to the grocery store, friends' houses, parent's, church etc. It's either my way or, quite literally, the highway! LOL!
• 4. I like to think I'm adventurous when it comes to trying new things. In reality, I'm not. We'll go to a restaurant and I'll order some exotic sounding dish...then switch with my hubby after I take the first bite.
• 5. I'm a klutz. I walk around in my own world, oblivious to others around me. I've been known to walk into the broadside of a wall...in my own house! Hubby says he comes shopping with me just to protect the unsuspecting, innocent bystanders.

So fess up. What are some of your weird habits?

Guy Sight

Guy Sight - a condition that periodically affects the male gender when asked to retrieve, find or look for an item.

We've all heard of hindsight and the popular saying, "hindsight is 20/20," but I've found there to be this other phenomenon - guy sight. It's a condition in which a man or boy with perfect vision can temporarily be struck blind in certain situations - situations that may sound something like this....

"Sweetheart," hubby calls, "where's the cheese?"

"It's in the fridge," she answers.

"I don't see it."

"It's right inside the door on the top shelf."

Silence. "I can't find it," he calls.

She walks into the kitchen to find him standing in front of the open fridge door, staring blankly inside. She gently, or not so gently, moves him aside, slides open the little compartment on the fridge door marked "cheese" and calmly hands him the cheddar.

Hubby smiles. "Do we have any mayo?"

Sound familiar? And it's not only my hubby. I'm finding that my young sons are affected with this peculiar affliction as well. Like the other day, I asked my oldest son to go into his brother's room and bring me the brown boots.

"They're on the dresser," I say.

He walks down the hall and into the room. A few minutes later he returns. "Here, mom," he says and hands me the baby's slippers.

"No, honey, those aren't the boots. The boots are brown and they're on the dresser."

He looks at the slippers he's holding. "Oh." He disappears back down the hall. "I can't find them," he shouts.

From my vantage point I can see he's gone too far into the room. "Honey, that's the change table. I said they're on the dresser."

"Is this the dresser?"

"No, that's the floor. I said the dresser. Dresser!"

"Is this them?"

"No, that's a blue envelope. I said the brown boots!"

"These?" comes the innocent reply.

"Yes, those. Please bring them here....no, I need both of them!"

Anyone else have something like this happen?

Say, WHAT?

So the other day my husband says to me, "Honey, do you think you'd ever use an exercise bike?"

I looked at him, sparks shooting from my eyes. "Say, WHAT?" I could not believe he had said that! Just what was he insinuating?! Doesn't an excercise bike imply that one is working up a sweat? The only time I work up a sweat is if I'm fighting my way to a buffet line! Or if I'm fending off a swarm of angry, hormone-crazed woman, all elbowing for the last piece of chocolate! LOL!

"No, I didn't mean anything. It's for ME," he quickly replies. I'm feeling somewhat appeased and my ruffled feathers begin to smooth. "They're on sale and I was thinking of getting one along with an excercise ball."

There's that dreaded "e" word again. Apparently he's been thinking it would be nice to have some, uh activity aparatus, around the house (note: no use of "e" word). Hmmm, I think, are those the balls that you bounce on? do they come with a handle? I'm seeing myself hopping around the basement on a big, bouncy, ball laughing with my children as we play silly games.

"There are some specific exercises for the ball that are supposed to be really good for you."

POOF!! My bubble has burst.

So, he bought the ball. The bike is still up for debate!